Gregory assaulted! Dominique framed!

While recently in Texas, USA on IMF business, Gregory Runcic, our Director of Asian Affairs was assaulted by unknown assailants! Frank assassination may have been planned as well, as Gregory was able to deflect a dagger through his chest at the last moment. Ultra-right wing extremists are possible suspects due to Gregory's forward-thinking policies on new East-West financial agreements. Other possibilities include Chechen rebels, potentially working with extremist American cells. IMF intelligence and security forces are working on bringing the perpetrators to justice! New investigations suggest that occult forces may also be at work, possibly due to the IMF's support of the SCRAM "boo hoo Cthulhu" program. Gregory now has increased security and protection from the occult.



As you all probably know, our former Director, Dominique Strauss Kahn, was accused by a hotel maid of rape in New York. IMF intelligence, working in conjunction with the FBI, have now uncovered credible evidence that Nafissatou Diallo was paid by African Warlords to discredit our Director. IMF policies of malaria eradiation; support of peace initiatives in Somalia, Congo and Somalia; contributions to hunger eradiction programs; work training programs; improved agricultural methods; arms control and financial support in Africa are thought to play a role. As in Runcic's case, occult influences are suspected as well.